home

this week i traveled from moline to atlanta to greensboro, north carolina. north carolina is not my home. most of my life has been spent within forty-five minutes of the mighty Mississippi River. a bird's eye view from the plane reminds me of what i love about the Midwest. the patchwork of colors (tans, dirty reds, soft greens, and hungry browns). jagged edges and straight lines. rivers and creeks flowing in and out. corn for miles and miles and miles. soybeans and hay. having never really been attached to any one place it's an odd feeling to feel connected to the land in some way. you lose that predictability of land mass and assortment of colors as you move toward the east. other forms of beauty appear, but there's something secure and taming in the place i grew up.

so it's really odd to find myself in a city i've been at four times and feel like i've come home. it's nothing to do with the city or the people here, the native north carolina folks and everything to do with one family - one piece of iowa/illinois - transplanted here.

within an hour of being here i felt so at home. felt like i had been traveling the world, tired, clothes dirty, and body wearing and had finally arrived back at my starting point. it's the most secure feeling i've known all year.

i haven't quite figured out what makes it this way. what it is my family possesses that when we are all together i feel like i've come home. but thursday night watching and listening to us all i realize how much i miss the noise of laughter and debate and silliness. i miss the sarcasm, the quick wit. it's like gun fire. i miss the joy that seems to feel the room, so tangible i can almost reach out and touch it.

and i know that in a few days i'll go back "home" to the Midwest and it will feel the loneliest of activities. it'll feel like traveling to some far off land. but it's land i know. land that's tangible, predictable, and permanent. which reminds me of my family.