Waitress No-No's

In no specific order, they are:

1. NO snapping your fingers. We are not dogs and do not respond to snapping, psst...psst, or "here waitress, waitress."
2. Do not holler across the restaurant "Miss", "Miss". If we do not respond we either can't because of some pressing obligation, can't hear you or it is possible we are ignoring you for a reason.
3. Do not interrupt another customer's order to tell us something.
4. Do not order with your mouth full of crackers. Not only is it disgusting, but we go home smelling as it is. no need to add your saliva to our sweat or grease.
5. Please speak up. We can carry large trays of food, leap over chairs and running children, and make food appear but we cannot hear you when you whisper.
6. Do look at us when ordering or asking for something. We are not your maid or servant or slave and therefore it is customary to respond to us as if we were a living, breathing, soul.
7. Do not talk on your cell phone when ordering. Either have the person you are with ready to give your order, asking the person on the phone to hold on and order, or...imagine this...turn off the phone completely and tell the person you'll call them back.
8. Do not let your child run the restuarant. It is not their personal jungle gym.
9. Do not leave a Jesus track, but no tip. And for that matter, if we see you bow your head in prayer it is so vital that you do number 6 and smile. And even exercise a little patience especially if we screw something up...you do remember that little thing called grace, right?
10. Don't be cheap. And if you are going to be cheap than at least don't be picky and be patient and make us laugh.